Putting "You" Before Others

17/05/2019

When loving yourself becomes a little bit uncomprehensive, putting afforts towards anything becomes really apprehensive. But what if you were never taught how to love and all your mistakes have just been ruining it for others involed. Some you tried to love; some tried to love you, There is no learning in it when no one ever calls you out on your ill ways and never rewards you when finally do something right, it takes forever to get the idea of whats right for you and whats right for “us” and all you end up with is just uncertainty, sadness, and despair. The margin for error is so thin when you are playing with someones heart with little to no room for second chance, there is no way to pick up where you left and to start over in a new path over and over again is just a mess.

It gets to a point when you are forced to believe the root of the problem is you but knowing well in your heart that its a two way street. The blame shifts depending of the keyhole you look through and you only get more questions than answers.

Its hard with all the emotions weighting down on you, your feeling gnawing at you reminding you of times you left yourself open and regret comes soon after.

But peace is always attainable; with what happened, with yourself. It takes time, it takes patience and you will run out of those multiple times in process but the moment you feel free from the clutches of your regret, its liberating. Its worth it. Salvation is worth going for and your soul deserves it, no one deserves the pain.

It doesn’t matter who takes the fall, it had already fallen apart.

The dust has settled and all you can do is walk away.

Walk away before you go insane, thinking what you could, would, or should’ve done.